Please Don't Burn the Toast
by blue artemis
Summary: Draco is minion to the dumbest Kneazle ever... or is he?


"Really, that is the dumbest kitten I've ever seen in my life!"

"Flint, what would you know about kittens?"

"My gran raised kneazles, idiot. There is something wrong with that one."

"He's cute, though," responded Draco.

It was true. The small orange kneazle kit was adorable. White paws, a white nose and a white-tipped tail highlighted the orange striped kitten with round blue eyes. He was dumb as toast though, and couldn't find the tuna Draco had set out for him. Tuna. Tuna was smelly.

"You should call him Toast, Malfoy."

"Why?"

"As in 'dumb as'," responded Flint.

Sadly for the little kneazle, the name stuck.

* * *

It was five years since the fall of Voldemort. It was four years since Ronald Weasley tried to tell Hermione Granger "It wasn't me!" when she caught him in bed with Lavender Brown and Pavarti Patil... again. It was three years since Ginny Weasley got pregnant to trap Harry Potter into marriage, only to be ostracized when he demanded a paternity test. Ginny Finnegan was not a happy woman. It was two years since the Malfoys had finally met all the terms of their parole and probation and were freed and one year since Draco adopted the dumb little kneazle named Toast.

This year, Wizarding Britain wanted to celebrate. The Ministry commissioned the Weasley Twins to create the best fireworks anyone had ever seen. For the money they were offered, Fred and George would have made all the fireworks look like Dolores Umbridge if that is what they were asked.

It was fairly dark when the celebrations started. Hermione was sitting on the front porch of her flat in the newest building put up by Malfoy industries watching the fireworks go off. It was quite loud and she was very happy she had put Crookshanks inside in her sun room, which she had Silenced. Something small moving quickly caught the corner of her eye.

"Poor kitty, did you escape from someone," she asked the frightened orange kneazle.

"Mrrp!"

"Why don't you come with me, and I'll put you inside where it is safe until your human comes by... just don't be mean to Crooks. He's the king of the house."

The frightened feline liked the soft-spoken witch, so he didn't fight when she took him inside.

Hermione lightly dropped the kneazle in the sun room where he sniffed the sleeping Crookshanks softly, then found a nice round cat bed and promptly fell asleep as well.

She smiled at that, and went back out to watch the very loud and colorful fireworks.

About an hour later, when the fireworks were dying down, she heard a frantic male voice calling for Toast. Then the voice started cursing, enraged with the Weasley Twins. It kept getting closer, when she saw a head of pale blond hair peek around the edge of the potted plant she kept on the corner of the porch.

"Malfoy?"

"Granger?"

"What are you doing here?" they both asked simultaneously.

"Ladies first," said Draco with a grin.

"I live here. I decided the Ministry wasn't for me around the same time I realized Ron wasn't for me. I found a ward-master in Italy who was willing to take me on as an apprentice and I came back and opened a business... you may have heard of it, Wards for all Occasions?"

"My father used you for this building, didn't he?"

"Yes. I warded the new gazebo for your mother after that last idiot tried to attack her, and since then your father uses me exclusively," responded Hermione. "So, what are you doing here?"

"I'm looking for my kneazle. Orange, white-tipped, dumb enough to run _toward _the origin of the horrible sound instead of deeper into the flat," he said.

"Come on in," said Hermione.

Draco found that to be an odd response to his statement, but if his father trusted this woman with not only business wards but personal ones, then he figured he was safe. He followed her into her flat.

"Look," said Hermione, pointing to something in her sun room.

"Ah, Toasty-toast. Thank you so much for taking him in," he said. Then before he could think it through, he wound his arms around her, lifted her off the ground and whirled her around, before putting her back down gently and kissing her lips lightly.

He realized what he had done, and backed up a bit, waiting for one of Hermione's famous hexes.

"Are you waiting for me to hex you?"

"Yes."

"I'm not going to hex you, Draco. I can't remember the last time I was kissed spontaneously," she said.

Draco wasn't in Slytherin for nothing. He thought on his feet. "I really don't want to wake the cat, Hermione. Do you mind if I stay until he wakes up?"

Hermione smiled. Kneazles and cats slept about eighteen hours a day. "Not at all."

She led him back to her couch and they both settled in with drinks and a plate of biscuits. "What are you doing nowadays, Draco?"

"I run the communications division of Malfoy Industries. We helped break Cellnet away from BT, because I really want to create a form of communication like that for the wizarding world. The phones are annoying, but I think we can do something with the basic technology and make it work with magic."

Hermione snuggled closer to him, making him light up inside.

"I like that, it sounds wonderful. I've tied some of my wards in to Muggle-type alarms for people who live in mostly Muggle neighborhoods. Maybe I can work with your researcher, if you want," she said.

"I'm my researcher, and I would like that quite a bit," he said.

They talked long into the night, falling asleep together on the couch.

In the morning, Hermione untangled herself from Draco, hoping to get up without waking him.

"C'mere, love," he said sleepily.

"Do you know where you are, Draco?"

"On the sofa with 'Mione, I hope. Or I got killed by one of those crazy fireworks."

She laughed and let him pull her back down to the couch with him.

He kissed her languidly, the kisses quickly getting heated. Their clothes were pushed aside, pulled off, anything to get them out of the way.

Their first coupling was frantic, feverish, their passion overtaking them. Years of loneliness for both of them gave way in the face of good conversation and mutual attraction.

"Tell me you want me, Hermione!"

"More than anything, Draco. You make me feel like I'm going to go up like those fireworks!"

More words than he had expected, but this was Hermione. Then he processed what she said and drove into her fiercely, making her keen in response. They kept time with each other, driving each other into a frenzy, culminating in an explosion of feeling.

As they often did, Fred and George stopped by Hermione's flat to see how she liked the display.

"Ah, my eyes!"

"Did you forget to disarm the explosives again, Fred?"

"Apparently, Georgie. Who knew."

"Would the two of you shut up?" Hermione stood up, stark naked, hair flowing around her wildly.

"You know, Georgie, there is a gorgeous witch standing there stark naked and can you guess what I'm looking at?"

"Her wand, Freddie, because she looks like she's about to hex us."

"Get out!" yelled Hermione, wand sparking.

Once the demented duo Apparated out, Draco started laughing.

Hermione was about to turn on him when the humor of the situation hit her as well. "Oh, Draco. You realize those two are the biggest gossips ever when they are amused by something."

"I know. Do you mind?"

Hermione looked at the deliciously disheveled man on her couch and realized she hadn't had that much fun or connected with someone so well in ages. _So __what __if __everyone __knows __only __minutes __after __I __did__. _"No, not at all."

After her statement, both Toast and Crookshanks meandered out of the sunroom looking for food.

Toast wound his way around Hermione's ankles, then looked up at Draco. "Mrrow!"

"No, I guess you aren't as dumb as I thought. Good hunting!"

For his part, Toast looked quite pleased.

* * *

A/N: I have a new kitten named Toast. And yes, he's as dumb as... These cats keep finding us. We are up to five now. There must be a sign, in cat, in front of my house saying "these people are suckers."


End file.
